10 Things That Would Top off 2020 Like Arsenic Icing. Like E.T.’s call finally gets answered.
Browsing Category Funny
Funny and often incoherent ramblings. Be gentle, it might make you laugh, it might not but it sure as hell gave me a laugh writing it.
Fuck I Hate Linda
Ellie disliked Linda immensely. Apparently, over Christmas dinner, Ellie made a big deal of her intolerance for a number of staple foods. “This stupid woman never once thought to make sure that her host, ie……
Look at me, I’m Ridiculously Tragic
This week, I’ve thought about time travel and inter-dimensional space and time, only because I’ve wanted to put my hand through it, reach into the past, and fucking slap the goddamn shit out of my…
Scaredy Cat
Every time I try and convince one of my friends that I’m not a Scaredy Cat, they either laugh, smile awkwardly or look at me as though I’m something that they stepped in. Exhibit A…
What Does Pride Mean?
What Does Pride Mean? What does pride mean? Let’s be honest, we all know that Pride is associated with the LGBTQIAFRSMTUVZ community and that somewhere in the feathery Village People days, they had a point…
Suing God, I Am Suing You
Dear God, I Am Suing You I am taking Legal and Moral action against you. I hereby lodge criminal proceedings against you, for the following list of crimes: Criminal Negligence causing bodily harm Fraud and…
Turn That Frown Upside Down
Turn That Frown Upside Down The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the whole truth about happiness. All you need to do is turn that frown upside down. I’ve got a secret. My smile…
Death’s Been Knocking on the Door
Death’s Been Knocking on the Door The family chatted loudly and with great passion and animation as the car idled on the sidewalk, forcing Sunday strollers to detour around it, while I – with all…
How to Become Famous in 24 Hours and Lose Weight in the Process
How to Become Famous in 24 Hours and Lose Weight in the Process And other nonsensical suggestions for you The best advice anyone will give you about how to become famous is by considering what…
Why its Ok Being Weird and Other Terrible Advice
Why its Ok Being Weird and Other Terrible Advice Should I Conform to the Sheeple? I’m going to tell you a little secret. STOP BEING BORING and trying to be like everyone else. It’s not…
Going Full Circle
Going Full Circle A popular theory amongst certain scientists is that time is not linear, it is cyclical. Try and get your head around this: the future has already happened and the past is yet…
Monique’s a Shining Light and Star so Bright
Monique’s a Shining Light and Star so Bright The star of my first book is gravely ill The news is grim. In early February of 2017, Kelly-Ann, also known as Monique, couldn’t shake a cough…
Writing about Sex Rape and Drugs
Writing about Sex Rape and Drugs Imagine that YOU are my next book I’m a perverted, disgusting, filthy-minded man who writes about topics which nearly always feature sex rape and drugs. But not just normal,…
Reviews and How to Get FREE Stuff
Reviews The New Customer Service Satisfaction Proof and How to get Free Stuff Once upon a time, before the intenet, businesses received letters from satisfied customers letting them know that their product or service was…
The Quick Brown Fox Jumped Over the Lazy Dog
The Quick Brown Fox Jumped Over the Lazy Dog There are too many holes for this to be true The Quick Brown Fox Jumped Over the Lazy Dog. But was the dog lazy? Or is…
Meaningless Sex Is No Longer Meaningful
Meaningless Sex Is No Longer Meaningful Sex that becomes meaningless, when it started off with the sole purpose of being meaningless Most guys think about sex a lot; it’s quite natural. Me? I write about…
Imprisonment in Italy
Imprisonment in Italy My life of crime Guilty. I’m locked up and the key has been thrown far and yonder. I’m in imprisonment in Italy and all because I dared to reacquire my Italian Citizenship….
Why Are People So Angry
Why Are People So Angry? When I was young – which to me feels like approximately 400 years ago – I didn’t see signs warning you not to attack the bus driver because heavy penalties…
A Successful Author Spotlight on Reddit
A Successful Author Spotlight on Reddit WOW! What a night that was and so much fun too. 2,000 upvotes and over 350 comments and I thought I was going to get ignored on my very…
Wrong House Mother Fucker
Wrong House Mother Fucker When I was living in Perth, Australia, this red-back spider made the stupid mistake of coming into my house. Because as humans we react with fear, I grabbed a can of…
Ending with a Preposition
Ending with a Preposition Eat My Prepositions Bitch You’ve been lied to. Yes, ending with a preposition is perfectly acceptable and in fact, encouraged in fictional writing. Often, when writing a story, unless you do…
Trolls on Forums
Trolls on Forums It is so easy to tell someone that they are a piece of shit human being when you are hiding your own ugly, puss-filled face behind a keyboard. You’re completely anonymous –…
Getting Old and Looking Older
Getting Old and Looking Older Whether you’re 25 and starting to get concerned with some hairloss, or 45 and worrying about bags under your eyes…oh and let’s not forget about wrinkles, at some point, the…
Amazon Thinks I’m an Idiot
Amazon Thinks I’m an Idiot And after reading this post, I don’t blame them You know when you go to download a book on Kindle? And that thing happens where Amazon goes, “Oh hey Fox,…
The Pigeon Drugs n Mafia in Florence
The Pigeon Drugs n Mafia in Florence This story I’ve decided to call The Pigeon Drugs n Mafia in Florence started at my local pub on a Wednesday. My mate Pete had just arrived from…
My ABBA Day
My ABBA Day My ABBA Day started off much like many others, except I had an Abba song stuck in my head. Tiger. That’s how I woke up; to the tune of Tiger by Abba….
Who is Madonna
Who is Madonna And why should you care? Being able to continually create a persona and encourage others to believe in that persona, that’s a marketing genius. Creating ballads, riffs, lyrics that all work together…