Are Bisexual Thoughts Normal or are you Gay?
Are bisexual thoughts normal? Let’s ask Toby, the central character in my new book, due out in June.
Toby has an ongoing relationship with Jakob, a handsome Danish man who struggles with his own sexuality. In the beginning, Toby feels that he’s just going along for the ride, flattered and enjoying the adoration of such a handsome man. But as time goes on, Toby begins to realise he has feelings for Jakob and that those feelings are deep. At the same time, he’s previously had feelings for girls and starts to wonder if bisexual thoughts are normal.
Toby is a bisexual prostitute and cannot afford to have a relationship. His relations with Jakob and others is based partly on lies, because Toby doesn’t admit what he does for a living.
When he meets Ariana, a beautiful and successful woman from New York, he suddenly finds himself torn between his feelings for Ariana and Jakob. He is sexually attracted to both equally and also has conflicting feelings for both of them.
Ariana calls a nurturing and feminine allure within him that compels Toby to make the changes he desperately wants within himself.
Jakob on the other hand, is an innocent and earnest young man who lives simply and honestly. He asks nothing of Toby and is happy to allow Toby to call the shots. What Toby finds most attractive about Jakob is that his honesty and his simplicity is infectious. Toby wants to be more like Jakob and finds that he himself is a lot more honest when he is with him.
Even though Toby realises that he’s hooked on drugs – G and Cocaine, he also uses them to help him overcome some demons which continually pull him back. Toby finds that drugs assist him with analysing his feelings in depth, without having to deal with them all at once.
When he begins to question whether his bisexual thoughts are normal, he also starts to understand that he’s writing his own life. That the choices he makes are only going to affect him, not those of the people around him.
While researching Toby, I discovered that bisexuality is a lot more common than I’d realised. There are many men and women who have a healthy appreciation of both the same and opposite sexes. There are just as many who lean more in one direction than the other. Toby’s story is an interesting one because he doesn’t identify as gay. He doesn’t quite identify as straight either and he soon starts to realise that his conditioning, that of society itself, is what forces him to question his sexuality.
What Toby ultimately decides will be part of the story. Whether he decides to embrace Jakob or Ariana, you’ll find out when Toby comes out.
I will probably burn in hell for this, but I did join a bisexual website with a fake account and I talked to many men and women about bisexuality. Generally, I was honest about my research. Some of the times, I was evasive about my questions. What I was pleasantly surprised to discover overall, was the number of men and women who were happy to tell me about their inner-most thoughts about whether they questioned if their bisexual thoughts were normal. Most of them didn’t care what constituted as normal and agreed that the word ‘normal’ was rubbish and offensive but also common and got the point across.
One of my most interesting subjects was Lisa, a stunning looking woman who lives in Chicago. Ariana is loosely based on some of my knowledge of Lisa. Lisa was candid about her feelings towards her ex-girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend. Like Toby, Lisa felt that she could enjoy the best of both worlds. I asked her, are bisexual thoughts normal and she had this to say.
“I love the nurturing side of being with a woman, it’s much more sensitive and sensual. On the other hand, being with men can be more erotic and carnal, there can be a lot more differences, which add to the excitement. I never define my feelings for either based on what society expects of me,” she told me.
When asked what the downsides of a same-sex relationship were compared to one with the opposite sex, she had this to say, “I think penetration is great with a man but there’s less sensitivity. I also think women can be much more jealous than men.”
A handsome man by the name of Jon in London had this to say. “I have a girlfriend and we have a great arrangement. She knows that I like men and she respects that. We treat it as a reward. If I’ve been good, I get to bring a guy home. We would prefer it if he was bisexual, but as long as he’s happy for my girlfriend to at least watch, then that’s the next best thing.”
What Jon assured me also, was that he was certain, when I asked him, are bisexual thoughts normal, he was 50% gay and 50% straight and he never considered anyone’s opinion on the matter. And he had this to add to the conversation.
“I don’t cheat, end of story. Fidelity is fidelity, whether it’s with a man or a woman. I expect my girlfriend and I are long-term and I will always tell her exactly what is going on with me. Likewise with her, she’s also bisexual so I get the best of both worlds. We can have threesomes with another man or another woman and both enjoy the experience very much.”
So for anyone asking the question, “are bisexual thoughts normal?” It depends on who you ask and what you’re basing ‘normal’ on. You’d have to redefine your perception of ‘normal’ and what that’s based on in order to decide.
After all, as Tina Turner sang, “what’s normal got to do with it?” Oh wait…she said, ‘What’s Love got to do with it.”
For more information or for help, please consult your friendly Google. This site comes highly recommended.
Take a peek at Toby, you might just enjoy the story. You can pre order it now, it might get released earlier and you will be notified if it is. It’s currently a whopping 99c so grab a copy now as it will go to full price of $4.99 on the actual release day.