How Much Sex Is Too Much Sex?

How Much Sex Is Too Much

Guilty. I’m dirty-minded, perverted, deviant. Yet still, I wonder how much sex is too much?

I’ve written sex scenes that are pretty…um, explicit. Because it fits into the story line and it is a natural progression between the two characters or simply because it just felt like they needed to…you know, fuck. What I often wonder, as I’m writing yet another sex mm romance book is, how much sex is too much sex?

The problem with today’s readership is that people don’t review enough, so you never truly understand what the reader felt about every instance in the book. A book can have a plot, characters, visual components, romance as well as sex. Generally, readers tend to review based on all of the components but often leave out that one bit of detail that tells me, the writer…how much sex is too much?

Hide and Cheat

As I write this, my book Hide and Cheat is just days away from release. I’m having that panic moment where I start to get cold feet about the release. Have I written too much sex in that one scene? Will readers be offended by it? Will they skip over it and wish I’d never placed them into such an awkward moment? You know, like when you’re a kid and a steamy scene came on television while you’re watching it with your parents…that kinda feeling.

Matt loves Levi and has done since high school. The problem is, Levi’s married to Paula. Without spoiling the details for those of you that are going to read it…there’s a scene between Matt and Levi that’s very explicit. It’s gay sex; it’s two guys fucking and getting passionate and intense. There was a point while I was editing it that made me pause. Even I, who does not shy away from any topic, felt a little…heat. Not because they’re two guys, but because sex can seem so private sometimes that as the reader, when the scene is written well, it can feel like an intrusion.

How much sex is too much sex?

I read a lot of books, I binge watch programs that I like and often read scripts. It’s not often that I read explicit sex scenes and when I do, they seem forced, unreal, perhaps a little too trite. There are definitely good ones though, some writers who write so well that the characters seem so real. When they write sex, it seems toned down. We don’t see too much, but we get a feel for it. Sometimes, when the sex is written so well, I do feel like I’m intruding on their personal moment.

Sex is such a big part of our lives. We see it deliberately flaunted in subverted ways, we see it on television, we read about it in books, we hear our friends talk about it and when we look at children, we know it happened because they’re there. But in books, how much sex is too much? I’d love to know your thoughts. Even as I panic, because the release date is mere days away, I’m wanting to quickly change it. Tone it down.

I’ve written a well-fleshed out sex scene before in A Boy Called Q and The Life of Q, but people don’t write reviews these days and when they do, they don’t tell you how much sex is too much.

What are your thoughts?

Don’t be a passive reader; please let me know your thoughts!


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  1. Janice C May 17, 2017 07:03 at 7:03 am

    It’s never enough! I love your sex scenes, so from my POV, you’re doing great! Keep em coming Foxy!

  2. Bad Ass Noel May 17, 2017 07:05 at 7:05 am

    It’s not offensive if thats what your asking its good as long as it fits the story

  3. Zeroarticulis May 17, 2017 07:08 at 7:08 am

    The problem with so many books is that they either have too much sex or not enough… personally, plot and characters need to be believable then the sex is just a bonus. I’m never offended by sex in a book personaly

  4. Banging Chicken May 17, 2017 07:18 at 7:18 am

    Its relative isn’t it? X amount of words and x amount of sex then it is too much. There needs to be a story that unravels and reels you in. The sex should be an added bonus only if it fits. Looking forward to new book

  5. LadyBarr May 17, 2017 12:34 at 12:34 pm

    for me its all about the sex as long as the story is real and I can relate to the characters. looking forward to the book Fox


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