(And How to Stop Falling For It)

Once upon a time, I thought I was sharp. Self-aware. Immune to manipulation. Spoiler: I wasn’t. I was being played like a piano in a haunted house. The scariest part? I didn’t even know it. That’s the thing. When you’re in it, you don’t know how to tell if someone is manipulating you. It’s subtle. It’s quiet. It thrives in the blind spots you refuse to examine.

This isn’t a rant. It’s a wake-up call. It’s also a mirror. If you’ve ever found yourself excusing someone’s bad behaviour, minimising your instincts, skating past red flags or wondering if you’re the crazy one, keep reading. This one’s for you.

Exhibit A: The Modern Human

We live in a world that rewards performative empathy and punishes real emotion. We’re told to forgive quickly, give second chances, and “see the good in everyone.” Meanwhile, manipulators are out here running full psychological operations on us under the banner of love, concern, or leadership.

You breathe recycled air, drink filtered lies, and call it peace. But deep down? You feel off and you question your memory. You apologise too much and you make yourself smaller so someone else can feel bigger.

That’s not love and that’s not normal. That’s someone playing you. And the worst part is? You’ve probably thanked them for it.

Exhibit B: The Delusional Optimist

This is the part that stings. Because we’re all guilty of it. The hopeful idiot. The one who says, “They’re just going through a hard time” while ignoring the fact they’ve been acting like a cult leader with a smoothie addiction.

You know the signs. Maybe you’ve lived them. They withhold affection to punish you and they flip the script when you bring up a concern. They isolate you from people who tell you the truth. Then they flood you with love, gifts, apologies, just enough to make you question your gut.

You cling to hope. You wait for the person they were in the beginning. The person who love-bombed you, who mirrored your dreams, who said all the right things. But that person doesn’t exist. They were a hook. And you’re still on the line. The love bomb is a lie.

Exhibit C: Earth Responds

We don’t just get manipulated by lovers or family. We get played by politicians. By corporations. By systems that train us to obey and feel grateful for the privilege.

Look around. You’re sold outrage as entertainment, conflict as identity, and lies as motivation. You’re taught that success means sacrificing your well-being. That burnout is a badge of honour. That fear is just part of being a good citizen.

The world gaslights you every single day, and we call it culture.

Final Thoughts From Someone Who Finally Saw the Game

I wrote this because I’ve lived it. I’ve had people whisper poison in my ear while pretending it was love. And I’ve mistaken control for care. I’ve justified red flags until my entire world looked like a communist parade. Read more about what it’s like being trapped in emotional chaos with someone who has untreated BPD or NPD.

So if you’re sitting in the fog, doubting yourself, wondering if you’re overreacting, I got you. You’re not.

You’re probably being manipulated.

The good news is, the moment you name it, you begin to reclaim your power. It starts with one ugly truth: the person you’re defending might be the one keeping you stuck.

So here’s your reminder: Think more. Trust your gut. Ask better questions. Stop justifying what you know doesn’t feel right.

Because if someone truly loves you, they don’t confuse you. They don’t drain you. They don’t manipulate you.

Love and light,

Fox x

If this post hit too close to home, you’ll probably want to read the memoir: “Good Luck Getting Rid of Me.” It’s got narcissists, emotional chaos, phenomenal sex, and the journey back to clarity. Subscribe for updates or download a chapter.

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