Love Bombing: What It Really Feels Like to Be Groomed by a Narcissist

Love bombing isn’t romantic. It’s not fate, it’s not passion, and it sure as hell isn’t love. It’s marketing. Emotional clickbait. Grooming disguised as your soulmate. And by the time you realise what’s happening, you’re already trapped in the trailer of a psychological horror film starring a very charming psychopath.

They’re not obsessed with you. They’re obsessed with controlling you. Manipulating you.

What is Love Bombing?

Let’s be clear. Love bombing is when someone showers you with attention, praise, gifts, future plans, and intense emotional energy way too fast, with the hidden goal of manipulation. It’s basically the emotional equivalent of a drug dealer giving you your first hit for free.

You don’t fall in love. You get high. And then they own the supply.

The First Stage of Grooming: Intensity Disguised as Destiny

You know that feeling of meeting someone and thinking, This is it? They think just like you or they text back instantly. Maybe say they’ve never felt like this before. They talk about the future like they already know you’ll be in it.

They love your laugh. Your eyes. Your “energy.”
You may hear “never opened up like this” before.
They’ve “never felt so seen.”
They talk about moving in, travelling together, or meeting your parents before you’ve even finished a full menstrual cycle or bought toothpaste for their sleepovers.

It’s not real intimacy. It’s emotional identity theft. And they’re very good at it.

Signs You’re Being Love Bombed

Let’s not play dumb. If you’ve felt this, you probably already knew something was off. Here are a few classic signs:

• They say I love you within days
• They talk about your future life together before you’ve even kissed
• They overwhelm you with compliments, gifts, or “you’re my soulmate” nonsense
• They mirror your personality perfectly, almost too perfectly
• They need constant texting, calling, validation
• You feel like you’ve known them forever, which is weird, because you haven’t
• Something deep inside says “this is too much too soon,” but you ignore it because your trauma brain is eating dopamine like cereal

You’re not crazy. You’re being played.

Not Just Narcissists: When Love Bombing Isn’t Malicious

Let’s clear something up before we go full rage mode on narcissists.

Not everyone who love bombs is evil. In fact, a lot of people do it without even realising. They’re not trying to manipulate or control — they’re just emotionally starved, ADHD as hell, or desperately afraid you’ll ghost them if they don’t lock in the connection right now.

Here’s where it gets messy:

• People with ADHD might flood you with attention and intensity simply because they’re excited. That hyperfocus? It’s real. It’s not fake. But it can be overwhelming.
• People with BPD often swing from idealisation to devaluation, and when they’re in the “you’re my everything” phase, it feels like love bombing, but it comes from a place of fear, not malice.
• People with anxious attachment styles will over-promise, over-share, and over-give to try and feel safe.
• And sometimes, it’s just two lonely weirdos trauma-bonding in the honeymoon phase and going way too hard, way too fast.

The difference is intent.

Narcissists love bomb to trap you.
ADHDers might love bomb and then crash.
BPDers might love bomb and then panic.
And regular humans just mess up sometimes.

So if you’ve ever been the love bomber? Don’t spiral. You’re not a monster. But if you see this pattern in yourself, it’s worth asking what you’re trying to soothe, and how you can slow the hell down before dragging someone into your emotional rollercoaster.

Why Love Bombing Works So Well

Because it feels amazing. It triggers the same reward circuits as cocaine. You get flooded with serotonin, oxytocin, and every other feel-good hormone known to man.

And if you’ve ever been emotionally neglected, abused, dismissed, or treated like a burden, you are the prime target. People with ADHD, C-PTSD, or a history of chaotic relationships are especially vulnerable. Love bombing feels like medicine.

But it’s not. It’s bait.

And once you’re hooked, the cycle begins.

What Happens When You Try to Leave

Ah yes. The twist.

That same person who worshipped the ground you walked on now ignores your messages. Picks fights over nothing. Gaslights you into thinking you’re too needy. Starts withholding affection. Or worse, they devalue you, discard you, or rage at you for not being “who they thought you were.” Watch out for the smearing campaign. And part of that campaign? It might be revengeporn.

You start to question yourself. Maybe you were the problem. Perhaps you ruined it. Maybe you need to “be better” to get back to that magical beginning.

That magical beginning was a scam. There is no going back. That person never existed.

Love Bombing Is Not Love

It’s control wrapped in compliments.

Probably manipulation packaged as intensity.

It’s seduction with a script.

Love bombing isn’t just creepy, it’s dangerous. It trains your nervous system to associate adrenaline, anxiety, and intensity with love. And that makes future healthy relationships feel… boring.

You end up chasing emotional chaos like a junkie, confusing it for connection.

How to Recover from Love Bombing

You stop blaming yourself.

Begin to grieve the fantasy.
Go no contact, or low contact if you must.
You unfollow, block, delete.
Talk to a trauma-informed therapist.
You read posts like this until your frontal lobe reboots.

And you learn what real love feels like.
Safe. Slow. Solid.
Not a high. Nor is it a hit. Not a hallucination.

If you’re working your way out of one of these cycles, read Surviving BPD and NPD: ADHD, Addiction, and Everything in Between for a deeper breakdown. And for the raw, real-life story that inspired this all, check out Good Luck Getting Rid of Me: Surviving a Malignant Narcissist and a Real-Life Psychopath, it’s not pretty, but it’s the truth.

So… Love Bombing?

Love bombing is not a compliment. It’s not flattery. It’s the first move in a game you were never meant to win.

The good news? You’re not playing anymore.