Visit Your Home Town
When Memories Are Better Than The Visit
We grow as people; some of us more than others. When you leave a place and move on, you expect to return to some changes, though in your mind, those faces and those places should remain exactly the same. When you’ve been away for a while and return to visit your home town, more often than not – depending on how long you’ve been away – there’s going to be some big surprises.
A year, maybe 5 – or even 10 – might go by before you return to where you once had your biggest growth period. There are a couple of things you probably hadn’t expected.
People Move On
You’re no longer there to call, text and entice to go out and do stupid and drunken things with. While you’ve gone off and discovered other places, you’re expecting to return and pick up where you left off. Error – does not work that way. Your friends and even your family, get used to your absence and eventually, they stop thinking about you as much. Sure, they love it when you call. You might even skype or bookface-time now and again, but the daily/weekly/monthly habits have been broken. Someone more than likely has taken your place and now gets those calls and texts. Haven’t you noticed your replacement in photos on facebook or Insta? Did you think you’d come back and that relationship would just get dumped now that you’ve returned to visit your home town? Think again.
Whether you left for work, to discover, to reunite with someone or for any reason at all, when you left, it was probably hard for those you left behind. And they won’t forget that, no matter how close you were.
What I recently discovered – because I’ve left and returned too many times to remember – is what people don’t tell you when you leave. They won’t tell you that they get depressed and saddened by your absence. They might say ‘I miss you’, but more of than not, it gets left unsaid. Don’t underestimate those words. They did hurt, they soon recovered and replaced you.
And now you’re back.
Visit Your Home Town
You didn’t expect things to be exactly how they were…or did you? People and even places, move on without you. And you thought you were what made the place…
I’ve yet again returned to visit Perth, Western Australia and I’m loving seeing things with different eyes. When you live in Europe, you are constantly bombarded by noise and a lot of history. When you visit a fairly newish town like Perth, you forget that it’s still growing. There are new buildings, new places – such as; Elizabeth Quay – and monuments that get erected (no, not after you). And seeing them for the first time, is great and also not so great.
On the one hand, you love that it’s got all this new activity and excitement. On the other, you want to drag old friends to see it with you and they’re rolling their eyes and telling you they’d rather get their hair/nails done.
It’s new and exciting for you, but not for them.
I’m writing another book – oh groan…they shout – but yes, I am. This one’s called Lucy and slightly less gritty and off centre. It’s about a girl who after a troubled upbringing and the death of her mother, is moved to a convent in New York City, where she is forced to grow up quickly.
Lucy becomes an overnight sensation when her singing voice is heard by the right people and she is propelled into a world of riches and fame.
When Lucy returns to visit her home town, she’s confronted by how much has changed and how little she must have meant to it. The one thing that kept her focused for so long, was her desire to go back and be with the people she loved so much. When she returns to her home town and realizes this, her world crumbles.
Not even riches and fame can heal wounds that only the past can. But sometimes, you need to focus on yourself and your own expectations and learn to heal yourself.
On this particular trip, I’ve lowered my expectations because, I know what to expect. And that’s a good thing. It means I’m aware that my absence allowed others to grow and continue with their lives, just like I grew and continued with my own. I’m happy for those that still have room for me and I’m equally as happy for those that have moved on.
My time is with Barcelona in Spain right now and while I love to visit my home town – just like I think if you can, you should visit your home town too, you might just need to be prepared that it’s not the place it used to be.
Another rambling by Fox.