Reviews

The New Customer Service Satisfaction Proof and How to get Free Stuff

Once upon a time, before the intenet, businesses received letters from satisfied customers letting them know that their product or service was great. There are still many places today who have letters on the wall in a physical business, for all to read and appreciate but this practice has been superceded by online reviews.

Reviews are the new customer service satisfaction proof that someone was satisfied with your work/service/product or ability to breathe.

And just like you will see genuine and fake reviews online everywhere in the modern age, businesses back in the day also faked their own customer service satisfaction proofs. They also offered discounts or freebies in order to get a hand written letter telling them oh-how-wonderful-you-are which in the modern day, is a breach of rules for many online companies (such as Amazon) but of course it still happens.

The only thing that has really changed with reviews is that they’ve gotten so much easier to submit. You don’t need to type up a letter – which might take a few tries if you didn’t have white-out liquid – and find an envelope, then get around to putting it in the post office. You just need to click here, click there, click somewhere and write something simple and relevant. So why then, do people hardly review when it is so easy?

The Lazy Generation

We’ve become so lazy and hard to please. With over 7 billion people on the planet and several billion who have lived before us, it is hard to be original but it is easy to find competition. If you don’t like that book, there are about 1 million others you probably will. If you don’t buy that skirt, there are about a million other girls who will. If you don’t like that smarmy bastard at the liquor store, there’s 100 others in your city to choose from.

If you don’t write that review, there will be millions of others who will. The problem is, we’re facing an epidemic of people who just cbf (Can’t be fucked) writing reviews. And that’s bad for everyone involved. You have less idea whether a review is genuine or not – as the only reviews you see might be from the business themselves and the business/seller has no idea if their product stinks.

Writing a Review

I’ve had quite a few people write emails to me – sometimes, pages of them! In which they will either praise me for my work or slam me because they didn’t like it (yes, it happens) but these people don’t think to put this somewhere where it will serve the most purpose – on the product’s sales page. In this instance – Amazon or Smashwords. They have a simple ‘Click Here’ and write a review option and all you have to do, is write a few short words or have your massive rant.

I even had a woman comment on a photo on Instagram that I’d uploaded almost a year ago telling me that Monique was the best book she’d ever read. Seriously? Who the hell is going to see this post? On the one hand you’re so grateful for the compliment and on the other, you just want to ask the obvious question, why not write a review?

Do write: I loved this book! It was inspirational to see (insert heroine’s name here) come through such a difficult time. Well done to the author!

Do write: I wasn’t a big fan of this book, the characters were too one-dimensional and the story was just ok.

The above are obviously examples! Not only are you notifying the seller with what you did or didn’t like about the product/service but you’re also letting others know; perhaps prospective buyers just like you who want to make an informed decision. Your words could help them buy or steer them away.

Don’t write: Bleugh.

Um… Did you fart? Did your 6 year old accidentally get a hold of your iPad? Are you on your death bed trying to tell me this was the most amazing book you’ve read before you die?

Don’t write: Love!

Um… What did you love? The cover? The sexy man with a hot bum who delivered your new washing machine? The new dildo that came with your juicer?

What’s the point? You’ve gone to the trouble of clicking that submit a review button then said nothing that helps anyone ever. Why not give someone, somewhere a bit of helpful advice?

Do try: To the author, I’ve given your book 1 star beause it was riddled with spelling and grammatical errors and I thought the story was uninteresting and the characters lifeless and unimaginative.

Do try: This robot was amazing because it not only washed my hair while I read a book, but it also massaged my scalp, fetched my slippers, made my dinner, did the dishes and then put me to bed.

You’re informing people why the product was good/bad and not simply making a completely pointless comment. Come on people, if this was your product, wouldn’t you want some constructive feedback?

Again, the above are just examples of reviews that you could potentially write instead of nothing.

Authors

Authors who are looking for reviews – congratulations on your book! I’m genuinely pleased when someone completes a book because I know how much effort goes into the whole process. However, please don’t ask me for reviews as I don’t want to offend you with a refusal but I simply don’t have a great deal of time to read books on demand anymore.

I do mean absolutely no offense, I’m now receiving dozens of requests from authors every day and to be fair, I don’t write reviews when asked. I’ll write a review if I love or hate a book and usually when it’s in between, but not because I’m being asked by a complete stranger. I’m sure the book is amazing and there will be many readers who would love your free book in exchange for a review, you just need to connect with them. There are plenty of resources to help you do that.

Readers

Here’s a way to get free books directly from the author. See that product on Amazon (insert favorite online shop here) that has hardly any reviews? I’m going to wager a bet that the author would be more than happy to provide you with a free copy in exchange for a review. You will find their contact details easy enough (Google search, Goodreads etc…)

In fact, there’s a lot of businesses trying hard to get your attention and would love your review and would be more than happy to give you a free product/service in exchange for a review.

Why not ask them? You’ve got nothing to lose but a few seconds of your time and all you’ve got to do to get a free product is write a simple little review.

Reviews Get You Free Things

Psssst. You there…yes you! Stop looking over your shoulder, we’ve established I’m talking to you already. Sheesh.

I get free shit all the time. Yep, products, books and other things. I can’t tell you who/what/where/when because…well, that would be telling and might get someone in trouble. And I get offered free stuff all the time because I’ve written reviews over the years for lots of things I’ve purchased and someone – somewhere, decided i’d be a good candidate to contact and get a review for their product.

Because I’ve taken a few seconds of my time to write a quick paragraph detailing my experience with a product and posted it on the relevant website, it’s visible to everyone. Over the years, it’s amazing how many products I’ve reviewed. The upside is, I get a lot of really cool emails from companies asking me if I’d review their product in exchange for a review. They pay the shipping and they send me a free product and all I have to do is write reviews.

See? So you started off thinking this was another rant-rant-rant Fox post that you could skim and get nothing out of but it turns out, I’m letting you in on how I got my brand new Ferrari.

I’m kidding, I don’t have a Ferrari but it’s good to know you read this far.

Please write reviews and save the planet.

Ok, reviews might not directly save the planet but it’s another cool gesture that reminds us that we’re all humans living on this little blue planet together.

Fox out.

Oh and by the way, people who read my books and write a review are the first to get offered the opportunity to get the next release free. Subscribe and you’ll be notified.

P.S thanks to these guys for letting me use their main image… well, not so much letting me use it as me ‘borrowing it’ and linking to them as a thank you 🙂