People Seem to be Getting Grumpier Part Two

People Seem to Be Getting Grumpier (Part Two of Yet Another Zombie Story)

If you missed people seem to be getting grumpier part one… go back.

Last week, everything was fine. I was in a boring cafe with my pregnant best friend discussing whether humanity was spiralling into grump-fuelled oblivion. You know. Normal Wednesday.

Then something exploded.

The Day Took a Turn (Into a Horror Film)

Light rain had started without us noticing. Because why not add some pathetic fallacy to the mix? Grey skies. Explosions. Monique’s salad tragically abandoned mid-chew.

In a graceful act of third-trimester panic, she shoved the table into my ribs while trying to stand, effectively trapping me against the wall. As the kitchen behind us erupted into a scream-fest and people ran to the window like it was a boxing match, I was stuck between a pregnant woman and a sterile wall.

Eventually, Monique moved and I launched into freedom like a man escaping Ikea. We edged toward the front of the cafe, where faces were pressed against the glass, breath fogging the windows like we were inside a haunted greenhouse. Sound familiar?

Outside, The World Was Doing… Something

Thick smoke curled down the street like a bad omen in physical form. Sirens screamed, then abruptly died. The light dimmed, unnaturally. Like someone adjusted the brightness on reality.

“I think whatever happened outside scared someone in the kitchen. They’re not related,” Monique said, calm as ever while arm-wrapping her belly like it was a football and she was the world’s most stylish linebacker.

Nobody else dared go outside. So of course, I opened the door. Because I’m either brave or stupid and frankly, at that point, I didn’t care which.

Congratulations, You’re the Main Character Now

The smell hit me first. Burning plastic. Electrical fire. The scent of something important going very, very wrong.

A man sprinted past me, clothes torn, eyes wide with panic. No explanation. Just pure, unfiltered nope. That’s when I realised: this wasn’t just an explosion. This was the beginning of the end.

The street was dead quiet. No traffic. No people. Nothing but haze and weird tension. Then she appeared.

Enter: Fashionably Feral

A woman staggered toward me, bleeding from the head, eyes glassy like a badly designed AI robot. Behind her, a man in a suit did the same. They weren’t running, or calling for help. They were just… stumbling. Like glitchy Sims.

Something in her eyes was off. Not just pain… wrongness. Her movements were jerky, unnatural. She growled. Like, full-on feral growled. And then, because apparently one isn’t enough, she lunged.

So did Mr. Suit.

And behind them? A group. All doing the exact same thing. Ambulating like extras in a high-budget trauma dream.

I took a step back.

Then another.

I looked toward the cafe, hoping someone, anyone, would open the door and scream helpful things like, “RUN!” or “DON’T DIE!” Instead, I got frantic gesturing and horror movie faces.

Just When You Think It’s Bad…

A man appeared to my right. I hadn’t seen him before. He shuffled forward slowly, arm outstretched like he was reaching for the last breadstick at a buffet.

He might’ve been hot once. Probably model material. But now? Now he had the current fashionably crazy look. Eyes too bright. Mouth opening too wide. Growling like he just failed a rage yoga class.

He lunged.

Behind me, another woman appeared. This one had taken the zombie makeover to the next level. Hair matted. Shirt stained. Eyes locked on me like I was a pork chop dipped in glitter.

And that’s when I realised I was completely, utterly, gloriously… screwed.

Monique Screamed, My Heart Exploded

Somewhere behind the snarling undead, Monique was yelling my name. But all I could hear was the sound of my heart.

Boom. Then… Boom. Again… Boom.

I backed into a car, the only thing standing between me and being torn to shreds by people who’d definitely skipped brunch.

Four of them. Surrounding me. Eyes empty. Movements jerky. Snarls rising like background music.

I had officially run out of options.

End of Part Two

Click here for Part Three of People Seem to Be Getting Grumpier.