It Feels Like the Apocalypse Today

It Feels Like the Apocalypse Today

Nothing heralds the end of times more than waking up to no gas and no water. Yes, that’s right folks, if you’re in Florence, Italy today, nobody had water this morning and a lot of people, myself included, had no gas. It feels like the apocalypse today.

The gossip amongst the locals produced this picture. As they say, a picture speaks a thousand words. A friend of a friend of a friend took this picture outside their home. I could have walked there and taken it myself, but I was too busy going to the gym. That’s an apocalyptic event right there… not the gym part, the psyching myself up to go part.

Morning Mayhem in Florence

So waking up at stupid-o’clock to make a coffee and alas… no gas. So I went out, three flights of stairs and across the street and got a delish cappuccino. Then I came back, took a shower without water and was a little confused that I came out dry. So hence, I went to the gym. An hour and 10 minutes later, I took a shower there, because apparently, the water was back on. So perhaps there won’t be an apocalypse today after all.

When Coffee Turns Into Crisis

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the apocalypse (not necessarily today’s) but in general. Especially when you wake up to a picture like the one that was taken a few minutes before I rolled out of bed. Ever seen a zombie flick or series? Picture something like The Walking Dead. The zombies are walking slowly when no delicious live people are swanning around. That’s me. I’m getting up, moving slowly, arms forward, making my way to the coffee machine. I get there and turn on the gas. Now cut back to the zombie when they see a live, delicious-smelling human. They rush and start ripping out throats. That was me when the gas didn’t work. I tried to rip the gas faucet’s throat out.

Then, to make matters worse… no effing water. HOLY SHIT. Talk about the apocalypse. So… I did what any Florence-dwelling drama queen does when a minor inconvenience disruts your life. I went full panic mode.

Art Imitates Life (and Panic)

Right now, I’m in the middle of writing Mr 303 Part Two. No spoilers, but I’m working some of the characters through no water, no food, and definitely no power. So imagine how I felt this morning in the 21st century, without the essentials.

I was a little spooked.

Could You Survive for a Week?

I want YOU… yes you, not the fly on your shoulder, to have a think about this. Imagine yourself without water, gas or electricity for a week. Imagine your neighbours don’t have it either. Your supermarket won’t open because, chances are, there’s no electricity to open the doors, power the tills, or light the aisles. So you can’t stock up. Without electricity, not much is going to move around. Your supermarket isn’t even getting restocked. Suddenly, in just 48 hours, you’ve got a very real taste of an apocalyptic or dystopian event.

That’s what Preppers think about. What they prepare for. What they suspect is going to happen when the SHTF (Shit Hits The Fan).

Preppers Aren’t Crazy. They’re Early.

And no, in all honesty, I don’t think they’re nut jobs.

In fact, most are hard-working people who’ve just put two and two together. They know our global financial crisis isn’t going to fix itself. They know that if the economy doesn’t collapse, there are at least ten other things threatening to fuck us up.

Terrorists could easily (and I’m surprised none have yet) drop an EMP on a major city. An electromagnetic pulse would destroy electronics within miles and completely cripple us. Picture it in the centre of London or New York or Rome or Tokyo. It would be over in seconds. The aftermath? Horrific.

Superbugs, Solar Flares and Supervolcanoes

If that doesn’t happen, we’re overdue for a super-virus. Resistant bacteria and viruses are popping up like influencers at a free buffet. We call them Superbugs. Google it. The WHO has already said they’re worried. If we don’t have antivirals that work, even a paper cut could kill you.

Or maybe the sun gets involved. A solar flare strong enough could turn us into toast. Not metaphorically. Literally. Less likely than a virus or EMP, but not impossible.

And don’t even get me started on supervolcanoes. If one of those goes off, game over. Ash blocks out the sun, crops fail, and temperatures crash. We’d be bartering with lint for lentils and setting fire to old Ikea catalogues for warmth.

We’re Screwing Ourselves Too

Then there’s us. The intelligent species, allegedly. We’re doing some spectacularly stupid things to this planet. Bees are disappearing faster than my will to live in a government office. Without bees, no pollination. No crops. You know the drill. If you’re lucky like China, you might be manually pollinating orchards. If not, well… no more strawberries. Or cucumbers. Or coffee.

This is your sign to stock up on honey. One day, very soon, it’s going to be more expensive than cocaine and twice as trafficked.

A Quick Note on Practical Doom-Planning

Want a deeper dive into how close we’ve come to collapse already? Have a peek at The Apocalypse Is Coming, where I rant slightly less about bees and more about serious threats. Or if you’re in the mood to prepare rather than panic, check out Doomsday Prepping for The Recently Terrified.

Final Thoughts From a Hot Shower

So, on a happier note, my gas is back on and my water is running fine again. For today, I can stop being a dramatic asshole and go do something productive. Maybe write more about near-extinction events. Maybe just enjoy the sunshine and grab some honey before it’s stored behind bulletproof glass.

Thanks for tuning in.

Ciao, Fox

Oh… have you checked out my latest venture? It’s called Good Luck Getting Rid of Me.